Monday, December 12, 2011


Day 30 of 365 Tiny Changes

We went to a Holiday Party last Friday evening.  The host and hostess are friends of mine.  We met 5 years ago, while I was working in the bank.  I remember our first meeting.  I was under strict instructions to take really good care of them, they meant a lot to the office manager.  I felt I took really good care of all of my clients, but that’s a blog for another time.

They came in and sat down at my desk.  She was friendly and vivacious.  Easy to connect with, almost immediately.  He was a whole different story.  He sat with his arms crossed.  Watching.  He asked pointed and direct questions.  I felt like he was waiting for me to prove I was incompetent at my job.  Lucky for me, I was pretty good at what I did.  When they left I felt like I had not embarrassed myself, but I probably wouldn’t be working with them any further.

Thank goodness I was wrong.  They not only came back to me, but we worked together over the next several years, as I helped them reach one of their life dreams.  During this time, we didn’t just work together for our mutual benefit, but we became friends.

Every year they throw a holiday party.  Every year they invite their many friends, and we are still on that list, somehow.  Every year we re-meet and chat with people we met during the previous years party, say good night and don’t see or talk to them for a year.  Too bad.

This year was different.  This year I was looking forward to seeing many of the guests we met last year.  This year, I got names and phone numbers.  Woo Hoo!   It turns out I really like these people, the friends of my friends.  Why was I limiting myself to interacting with them only once a year?  No reason I can think of. 

Guy and I have chatted it over.  We both feel this way.  Why do we wait until the holidays to connect with people we really enjoy?  We have really gotten into a rut in this area of our life.  We get up every morning.  We work during the day, we come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed.  Rinse, and repeat.  Day after day.  We play catch up on the weekends on all of the chores we didn’t get done during the week.  Sometimes, we talk about getting together with someone, but neither of us ever make the call.

We are on the path to a future of sad, lonely, old age.  We absolutely will get off of this path.

I love learning what other people are doing with their lives.  I love to learn other peoples points of view on the world and what’s happening in it.  It’s just gotten a lot easier to get this information by going on Facebook and reading about it.  I can check in at any time.  In my pj’s, early in the morning, late at night.  When ever I feel like it.

So, I stay up to date, but I don’t really connect.  I don’t get to hear their voice, see their face and their expressions.  I’ve become more like a fly on the wall, then a friend.  I miss having true friendships.

Friends add so much to a life.  They add fun, silliness, support.  It’s a friends’ kind words and hugs that get me up when I’m down.  It’s a friends’ direct words that straighten me out when I’m about to make a wrong turn in my life.  Friends share my life in a way my family can’t.  We don’t share the same gene pool.  We don’t have the same history.  Friend’s come to the relationship with a different point of view of life, and because of this they expand my horizons.  Perhaps I expand theirs.

Tiny Change 30:  I will call one friend and make dinner plans monthly.

I want to enjoy my friends with as many senses as I can, see, hear, touch, and share an experience with them.

How do you stay in touch and involved with your friends?

Best Regards,


Tiny Blessing of the Day:  I am blessed to have friends.  Many people in this world are so alone.

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